Five Hottest & Worst womens sports
Bonedog - No. 24

Before I start I would like to say that I realize that “Women’s Sports” is an oxymoron. Anything that involves women is by definition not competitive or intelligent. The "sports" I’m referring to are actually just pageants that parents put their daughters in to better display them to men looking for reproductive partners. That being said the following are the best and worst of these highschool beauty pageants/whore shows.

5th Worst Sport: Softball                    

Not only is Softball a watered down version of baseball but it is also full of half horse half woman dyke mutants. If you don’t believe me go to a high school softball game and check out the tramp that is pitching. I guarantee she it could not only beat the shit out of a fully grown wombat but it could also devour one in less than 7 minuetes.

I’d hit it with a 58 megaton warhead.

5th Hottest Sport: Tennis                    

Tennis girls tend to be in good shape. Strong wrists and legs are perquisites for this sport of ball lobbing. The miniskirt uniforms also allow for copious amounts of up-skirt adding to the stimulating effect of watching this sport.

I'd hit it with a banana.

4th Worst Sport: Field hockey                    

Imagine you’re at the zoo. You are at the hippopotamus exhibit and there is a ubiquitous smell of fecal matter, sweat and cotton candy in the air. It’s is feeding time. The zoo attendant throws a large piece of decaying flesh into the attraction and all the Hippos run at it greedily falling over one another and their own fatass-selves (yes Hippos are herbivores but stick with me). You now have an accurate portrayal a typical field hockey game.

I’d hit it with a Crow Bar.

4th Hottest Sport: Pole Vault                                         

Pole-vaulting is the only other "sport" where girls constantly hump a long pole while crowds watch and jeer. The sport involves jumping (or vaulting) over a high bar. Intrinsically speaking there a definite weight limit in this sport, ensuring that non but the most athletic participate in this sport.

I'd hit it with a dildo.

3rd Worst Sport: Rugby                               

Similar to Field Hocky, this sport should not exist for biological baby makers. I don’t know that much about the sport, as it isn’t as common in the Americas as it is overseas. What I do know is whenever I see a college student with a girls rugby T-Shirt on I prepare myself for a little spurt of vomit up my esophagus.

I’d hit it with a Semi-trailer truck filled with herpes infected illegal immigrants.

3rd Hottest Sport: Cheerleading                               

Cheerleading has always been a sport of popularity. Unfortunately popularity does not necessarily bring sex appeal with it. Though like pole-vaulting there is a limit on the size of these girls because many of them are to be tossed up in the air. This sport also has more upskirt than tennis, helping solidify it's place for the third hottest sport.

I'd hit it with a condom on.

2nd Worst Sport: Basketball                            

These tramps are disgusting. The two main prerequisites for this sport are a freakishly tall frame and a hyper-aggressive mentality on par with a junkyard dog. This requires the player population to be made up mostly of monstrosities that even wasted Quasimodo wouldn’t fornicate with. Also some of these hoes have more tats than a Dalmatian.

I’d hit it with a train full of hydrochloric acid.

2nd Hottest Sport: Dancing                                          

Dancing is inherently sexy. The ability to move one's body to the beat of exotic music had lead to many Corpora cavernosas being flooded with blood. Dancers are both well proportioned and very energetic allowing them to party all night. The close proximity, hands-on environment of dancing also seems to have made them easier to get into bed.

I'd hit it and quit it.

Worst Sport: Boxing                                          

If you’ve had the unfortunate to see a women’s weight lifting competition, women’s boxing won’t phase you much. The vast majority of us have never attended such a competition (let alone heard of one) so women’s boxing strikes us as somewhat…unfeminine. Don’t get me wrong. I am a huge proponent of woman on woman oil wrestling but women’s boxing is basically men’s boxing with wigs and slightly flatter breasts. The only thing worse than an ugly bitch is an ugly bitch that can kick your ass.

I’d hit it with a cement brick.

Hottest Sport: Volleyball                                                     

Finally the hottest sport. Volleyball. I understand many people may disagree with my selection but let me explain. Volley chicks are voluptuous. I think it has something to do with all that jumping. The tight spandex shorts don't hurt.

I'd hit it with my kock.

Some sports were not mentioned. Fencing would have made the worst list if I had been able to find a picture of a girl without a helmet on. Soccer, Swimming and Lacrosse both are littered with cattle and were stuck in the average looking category.